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Pre-Relationship -  Be Your Own Detective
 

Warning Signs!

Linea Sinclair: "You fall in love and you get married. The next thing you know the guy has other wives or he has a criminal history or he's ripped people off for years! It's a sad, sad thing to take something beautiful like love and turn it into something tragic.

"In Florida, there are a high percentage of retirees, many of whom are widowed or divorced. They may have had a business up north. They come here with considerable assets. They buy a condo. They meet someone and fall in love. God bless them, may we all fall in love again, someday. When you meet someone, ask: 'Do they want me or do they want my money."

Certain clues may manifest themselves as early warning signs, especially when a relationship is just beginning to take shape. Be aware of the indicators that warn of trouble ahead. Your safety, your money, your happiness - may be at stake.

For all practical purposes, a pre-relationship, or pre-nuptial, pre- commitment investigation - whatever you choose to call it - is essentially a Complete Background Check or an Identify Check. A probe into the background of a self-employed person or business owner would be considered a Business Background Check.

Become a Private Investigator with our  Private Investigator Home Training course.  Secrets of Top Private Eyes. Read More>

  Order a Complete Background Check. or Order an Identify Check Experienced database search specialists will immediately go to work for you, to quickly return real, meaningful results. See our Sample Report

Lies

People lie most about whether they are married. They lie about their occupation, their education, and their financial worth. This information can be discovered or confirmed by running our Extensive Background Check.

Before a woman gets involved, she should want to know: Is the guy married with five kids hidden away somewhere? Financially, is he well-off? Vagueness, Evasiveness: These traits tip you off. The manifestation of either of these less-than-desirable attributes should alert you to at least the possibility of deception.

Suspicion: One of Mother Nature's most overlooked and underrated defense mechanisms is suspicion, which manifests itself strongest when one perceives one is being lied to. If you suspect something is wrong, something is probably wrong. Can you answer these questions?
  • Do you know where your mate lives?
  • Have you met the family? Friends?
  • Where and when does everybody get together?
  • Do you have a home phone number for this significant other?
If the individual in question is married or has other secrets to hide, you may get a work number, a friend's number, or the excuse, "I don't have a phone." Do you get subterfuge, excuses, and false information when you ask for personal facts?

Confirm Suspicions

If you suspect something is out of kilter, no matter the vagueness of your suspicions, consider conducting a Our Pre-Relationship Background Check!.

Watch out if the individual claims to never have been married before. Or you've never been to their home. They'll make excuse. They'll come to your house instead. And they're never able to stay with you very long. Then, all of a sudden, they're able to stay with you on a weekend, but that's it.

Does what you know - or rather, what you don't know - leave you feeling ill-at-ease and dissatisfied with parts of the relationship?

P.I. Roger Gibson: "You'll know after a while if someone is being truthful with you or not. If a person is evasive and doesn't give you a good answer when questioned directly, you'll get a feeling about it. He's not available on weekends. She's never met his family. He only has a telephone in his car; no home phone. She doesn't know where he lives. 'I'll come to your place,' he says. It'll be a very one-sided type of relationship, and she senses this. 'I haven't met his family,' she confides. We've been dating for a year and he never talks about marriage . . ."

"Pimping"

Pimping is a term P.I.s use to describe a method of gathering information by enlisting a friend or relative to find out what you need to know: Invite your subject to dinner at your parent's home or to a get-together with your friends. Or arrange for your associates to meet the two of you somewhere, 'by chance.' Let them rake the suspect over the coals.

You can ask questions without the person knowing the reasons behind the questions. You just have to be sneaky about it. Where are you from? What do you do for a living? How long have you been an attorney? Where did you go to school? Are you married?

Order a Complete Background Check!. Experienced database search specialists will immediately go to work for you, to quickly return real, meaningful results. See our Sample Report

Your Investigation - Public Records

Since you won't have the advantage of a filled-out employment application, and consequently, permission to delve into the person's credit history, you'll have to dig for the data.

What premarital work can be for anyone is a basic background investigation. Is this person truly divorced or widowed, as they say they are? That's probate records, that's civil court records: divorces. Is this person from where they say they're from? Have they spent their life there? Call up county records. Do they own property there? It's public records. Is this person really in this business? Is he or she really a CPA? Call up the accounting board. Every state has an accounting board. If you start getting a lot of negative answers to these questions, let him pay for your drink, but don't marry him.

Marriage and Divorce Records

Do a marriage check. Find out if the divorce actually went through. Those who set out to deceive tend to be people who come from a very distant state or from out of the county. They'll be very sketchy about their backgrounds, their families. They won't go into detail. They'll say 'You don't really want to hear about that.' Or, 'My wife suffered a tragic death.' She's not dead; she's alive. It's tragic, but she's not dead.

If you locate a spouse or former spouse, you may decide to question that person about your mate. Brace yourself for answers and opinions not available from any records source or Information Provider.

You might want to contact the ex-wife. Check divorce records, find out where they got the divorce. Pull up the record. You'll find her name. Look her up and give her a call.

Interviews with People

Once you have your mate's address and place of employment, you can decide who to talk to. Neighbors, their addresses and telephone numbers, are easy to look up in cris-cross directories. Or can be checked on-line or by using one of several CD phone directories. City property records will indicate the landlord of a given address. Employers will often verify employment. Co-workers, if approached with decorum and for an acceptable reason like an old debt you're finally able to pay off), will gladly volunteer information. Former spouses or mates will often tell you everything you want to know-and maybe a few things you don't want to know!

Surveillance

You may find it necessary to conduct a surveillance to determine whether your suspicions are valid. Try to remember that it is very difficult to conduct a surveillance a person who knows you. Enlist the help of a trusted friend or hire a pro. See Surveillance for complete information and techniques.

Continue Your Investigation

To learn how to conduct a complete background investigation, you will benefit most if you understand what records are available to you on every level and what information certain records contain. Consult Public Records to familiarize yourself with various resources and what's available in Local, County, State and  National records. Consult these records yourself for websites and contact information for these agencies refer to the State Directory and National Directory

Order a Complete Background Check!. Experienced database search specialists will immediately go to work for you, to quickly return real, meaningful results. See our Sample Report

Become a Private Investigator with our  Private Investigator Home Training course.  Secrets of Top Private Eyes. Read More>

 
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